"Say Goodbye to Your Son"
The Murder-Suicide of Savanna and Kaiden Kriger
This is an evolving news story and the information is based on what has been reported. I decided to write about it so soon because I am tired of seeing the faces of beautiful children lost to murder-suicide.
On the evening of March 18, 2024, 32-year-old Savannah Kriger left work early and drove to the home of her ex-husband, Brian, from whom she was separated. Fueled by rage and resentment over their impending custody battle, Savannah proceeded to vandalize Brian's property, damaging furniture, destroying sentimental items, and cutting up every piece of his clothing. Unbeknownst to Brian, who was still at work, Savannah's rampage was just the beginning of a devastating chain of events that would end in unthinkable tragedy.
After leaving Brian's house, Savannah returned to her own home, where she carefully laid out her wedding dress and portraits on the bed - and shot them. She then went to pick up her 3-year-old son, Kaiden, from daycare.
Savannah and Kaiden Kriger
As she drove with Kaiden, Savannah began sending Brian a barrage of threatening text messages and videos. In one particularly disturbing FaceTime call, which Brian recorded, Savannah coldly told him, "You won't have anything at all at the end of the day." Becoming increasingly distraught, Brian eventually called authorities and requested a welfare check on Savannah and Kaiden.
When officers arrived at Savannah's house that evening, they found the staged wedding items and other evidence that heightened their concern for her and Kaiden's safety. However, Savannah had already taken off with Kaiden, and their whereabouts were unknown.
In the early morning hours of March 19, Savannah's final text message to Brian arrived: "Say goodbye to your son." Mere hours before their scheduled custody hearing, Brian's worst fears were confirmed when police discovered Savannah and Kaiden's lifeless bodies in a ditch at a local park. Both had been shot in the head.
Investigators soon uncovered video footage on Savannah's phone from just before the shootings. In the disturbing clip, Savannah can be seen sitting with Kaiden in the same ditch where they would later be found dead. With chilling calmness, she tells the boy, "Say goodbye to Daddy." She then kisses Kaiden and tells him she's sorry his father isn't there.
Phone records show that after filming this final message, Savannah searched for children's cartoons on her phone, presumably in a twisted attempt to comfort Kaiden before carrying out the murder-suicide. While the shooting itself wasn't captured on video, investigators said the footage painted a clear picture of Savannah's deadly intentions.
The community is still reeling from the news of the murder-suicide and the senseless loss of a child's life. Friends and family struggle to reconcile the Savannah they knew with the woman who could commit such a heinous act. How could a mother's love turn so horribly destructive?
Understanding Maternal Filicide-Suicide in the Context of Custody Disputes
Many years ago, I did custody evaluations. I saw it all; damaged people in toxic marriages that deteriorated even further amid a divorce. Generally well-functioning adults who both seemed to lose their minds over the pain and fear of separation. A loving parent struggling to do what was right for their children while dealing with a manipulative and deceitful ex. Narcissistic individuals willing to use their child as a pawn to win the custody game. After a few years, I threw in the towel.
Fortunately, no one I evaluated ended their lives or murdered their child. But it happens. While rare, these tragedies are more common than many people realize. A 2019 study by Lysell, Runeson, Lichtenstein, and Langstrom found that out of 3,925 filicide cases in Sweden between 1973 and 2009, one out of every five were filicide-suicide cases. Mothers were the perpetrators in forty-nine percent of those cases.
Research has also highlighted the role that custody disputes and revenge motives can play in maternal filicide-suicide. A 2021 study by Sidebotham, Brandon, Bailey, Belderson, and Garstang examined 60 cases of filicide in England between 2009 and 2018. They found that in cases where mothers were the perpetrators, relationship breakdown and disputes over child custody were common factors. The researchers noted that "in some cases, there was evidence that the mother had killed the child as an act of revenge against the father" (p. 7).
The Kriger case fits this tragic pattern. Savannah's actions in the hours before the murder-suicide - vandalizing Brian's home, sending threatening messages, and staging the wedding items - suggest a woman consumed by anger and desperation over the impending divorce and upcoming custody hearing. Her final act of violence against Kaiden and herself appears to have been a twisted attempt to punish Brian and ensure that he would never have a relationship with his son.
Risk Factors and Warning Signs in the Kriger Case
While most parents involved in custody battles would never contemplate harming their children, certain risk factors and warning signs can indicate an increased likelihood of filicide-suicide. Many of these red flags were present in the Kriger case.
One key risk factor is a history of domestic violence and conflict between the parents. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (2021), "a history of domestic violence is the single greatest risk factor for filicide-suicide" (p. 1). While specific details about Savannah and Brian's relationship have not been made public, the intensity of Savannah's anger toward Brian and her willingness to vandalize his property suggests a high level of conflict between them.
Another warning sign is the presence of mental health issues, particularly depression, anxiety, and personality disorders. While we cannot diagnose Savannah based on the limited information available, her behavior in the lead-up to the murder-suicide - the staged wedding items, the threatening messages, the chilling final video - indicates a severely disturbed state of mind.
A 2018 study by Mugavin and Erikson found that "mothers who commit filicide-suicide often have a history of mental illness, particularly depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder" (p. 14). The researchers stress the importance of mental health screening and intervention for parents in high-conflict custody cases.
Savannah's threats against Kaiden and her expressions of hopelessness and desperation are also consistent with known warning signs for filicide-suicide. In a 2021 study of maternal filicide cases, Eriksson, Mazerolle, Wortley, and Johnson found that "a significant proportion of mothers made explicit threats to harm their children in the days or weeks before the filicide" and "expressed feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and a sense that life was not worth living without their children" (p. 135).
Preventing Future Tragedies
The tragedy of Savannah and Kaiden Kriger's deaths highlights the urgent need for better prevention and intervention strategies in high-conflict custody cases. While it's impossible to predict with certainty which parents may be at risk of filicide-suicide, some steps can be taken to identify and address warning signs.
One key recommendation is for child custody evaluators, family court judges, and other professionals involved in these cases to receive specialized training in identifying risk factors for filicide-suicide. As Mugavin and Erikson (2018) note, "Custody evaluators should be trained to recognize red flags such as a history of domestic violence, mental illness, and threats to harm the children, and to take these warning signs seriously, even when they come from mothers" (p. 16).
Another important step is to ensure that allegations of domestic violence and child abuse are thoroughly investigated in custody cases, regardless of which parent is making the accusation. Claims of abuse made by fathers against mothers can be minimized or dismissed, allowing dangerous situations to escalate. A 2022 analysis by Hines and Douglas found that "fathers are less likely than mothers to be believed when they report abuse by the other parent, and their allegations are less likely to be investigated" (p. 7).
But perhaps the most important takeaway is for those closest to the perpetrator. There is no guarantee that anyone could have prevented this tragic outcome. There are no magic words that will bestow the gift of insight or stop someone bent on self-destruction. But it can be hard to know what to say and do.
It’s not uncommon for worried friends and concerned family members to notice erratic behavior or hear dramatic pronouncements before a murder-suicide. I don’t think anyone knowingly turns a blind eye; often, loved ones often grapple with how to address it or get their loved one to seek help.
But here’s what you can do:
Don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions, starting with suicide. Research consistently shows that murder-suicide perpetrators are suicidal before they become homicidal. Pointing out how difficult things have been for them and empathizing with how painful, betrayed, or angry they are can be gentle entrances into a more frank discussion about thoughts or plans of suicide. Asking a person if they’re thinking about harming themselves has never made someone do it.
Get a professional opinion. In the middle of a crisis, it can be easy to judge someone based on their history with us without taking into account the potential impact of their current circumstances. We may also not recognize how things we typically consider strengths can be risk factors in certain scenarios. “He was her entire world” is something I’ve heard more than once after a murder-suicide involving a child. If that’s true, what might happen if that world is threatened?
It’s crucial that friends, family members, and community members take threats of violence seriously, even when they come from mothers. Research has shown that murder-suicides, including those involving parents and children, are often triggered by intense feelings of anger, jealousy, and despair. In the context of custody battles, a parent may feel a complete loss of control and resort to murder-suicide as a final act of power or revenge against their ex-partner. Here are some examples of comments that should raise a red flag:
Expressing there is "no way out" or nothing left to live for
Rage and fixation on blaming the ex-partner
Describing murder-suicide as an "escape" or way to "win"
Obtaining weapons
Withdrawing from friends/family and making preparations
Traumatizing the children with details of the dispute
Sidebotham et al. (2021) emphasize the importance of "raising public awareness about the risks of filicide and encouraging people to report concerns about a parent's behavior or mental health" (p. 12). If you hear a parent making threatening or despairing statements about their children, don't brush it off. Notify the authorities and other family members, even if the threats don't seem entirely serious.
Finally, it's essential to challenge stereotypes and assumptions that can blind us to the risk of maternal violence. As Eriksson et al. (2021) point out, "the belief that mothers are innately loving and protective can lead to a failure to recognize warning signs of filicide risk" (p. 140). We must acknowledge that women, even mothers, are capable of violence and that some things can override even the strongest parental instincts.
Conclusion
The murder-suicide of Savannah and Kaiden Kriger is a heartbreaking reminder of the risks posed by high-conflict custody battles and the devastating consequences when warning signs are missed or ignored. While we may never fully understand what drove Savannah to such an unthinkable act, we can work to prevent similar tragedies by raising awareness of the risk factors for filicide-suicide, improving training for professionals involved in custody cases, and taking all threats of violence seriously, regardless of the gender of the parent making them.
Kaiden Kriger should be alive today, a happy and healthy little boy loved by both his parents. Instead, he became a victim of his mother's rage and desperation, a pawn in a deadly game of revenge. We owe it to Kaiden, and to all the other children lost to filicide-suicide, to do everything in our power to prevent these senseless tragedies.
By recognizing the warning signs, challenging our assumptions about gender and violence, and working to build a more responsive and proactive system for dealing with high-conflict custody cases, we can honor Kaiden's memory and work towards a future where no more children die at the hands of the parents who are supposed to protect them.
References:
Eriksson, L., Mazerolle, P., Wortley, R., & Johnson, H. (2021). Maternal filicide in Australia: A national study. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 36(21-22), 10883-10909. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260519888199
Hines, D. A., & Douglas, E. M. (2022). Intimate partner violence by women: Current controversies and future directions. Journal of Family Violence, 37(7), 819-831. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10896-021-00314-0
Lysell, H., Runeson, B., Lichtenstein, P., & Langstrom, N. (2019). Filicide-suicide in Sweden 1973-2017: A population-based cohort study. Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 80(6), 19m12717. https://doi.org/10.4088/JCP.19m12717
Mugavin, M., & Erikson, M. (2018). Maternal filicide: A systematic literature review. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 21(4), 707-722. https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838018791077
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. (2021). Filicide-suicide fact sheet. https://ncadv.org/filicide-suicide-fact-sheet
NYPost.com (2024). "Mom Made Son, 3, Say 'Goodbye To Daddy' Before Murder-Suicide". Retrieved Oct 17, 2024.
Sidebotham, P., Brandon, M., Bailey, S., Belderson, P., & Garstang, J. (2021). Maternal filicide: A multi-agency perspective. Child Abuse Review, 30(4), 279-294. https://doi.org/10.1002/car.2730
Thank you for reading this edition of The Mind Detective. As always, please share with your crime-following friends. And, if you have a case you’d like us to cover, we’d like to hear about it.